Tinker to Evers to Chance

Baseball’s Sad Lexicon
A Famous 1910 Poem by New York Newspaper Columnist Franklin Pierce Adams

These are the saddest of possible words:
“Tinker to Evers to Chance.”
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
Making a Giant hit into a double–
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
“Tinker to Evers to Chance.”

“Pricking our gonfalon bubble” means popping the balloon of pennant hopes for the writer’s beloved New York Giants. Joe Tinker, Johnny Evers, and Frank Chance were a renowned double-play combination who helped the Chicago Cubs win four National League pennants (1906-08, 1910) and two World Series titles (1907-8). The Cubs could use them today.

Beavers Are Better Than Trojans!

Oregon State manhandles #1 USC, 27-21, dominating far more than the final score reveals. The evil Trojans fall to the Beavers for the second straight time in Corvallis. It’s also the second time the Beavers knocked off a number 1 Trojan team.

Oregon State never trailed and made all the clutch plays when they needed them. Jacquizz “Quiz” Rodgers had a huge day, greatly aided by his brother.

It is the day of miracles.

Dallas Outlasts Philly, 41-37; Refs Flop Again

In an exciting shootout, Dallas shined on its final possession while Philly fizzled. In fact, Donovan McNabb, who had amazed throughout the entire game, failed on his last 2 series, causing fans to wonder again, Can DM do it in the clutch?

It was actually the next-to-last possession that cost the Eagles the game. With a 3-point lead and driving on Dallas, McNabb messed up a routine handoff to the incredible Brian Westbrook … and the ‘Boys recovered.

Still it was an exciting game, though, once again riddled with officiating errors. This time though, they really did even out. The errors cost both teams in different parts of the game. NFL officiating is pitiful. It must improve!

Pitiful Broncos Ride Ref Partiality to “Victory”

NFL officials found two creative ways to give the Denver Broncos the 15 points they needed to “win” over the San Diego Chargers. The Chargers had no way to win this game. If the Broncos had needed 7 more points, the refs would have found a third creative way to pad the score of the undeserving hometown pitiful Broncos.

Denver’s first seven points were handed to them in a first-ever manner of partiality. With 11:30 to go in the first quarter, Philip Rivers passed short to C.Chambers. Champ Bailey faked an interception/fumble recovery, which the complicitous refs gave him. Replay showed Chambers’ elbow clearly down before Bailey wrestled the ball loose. It was challenged by Norv Turner so the refs would have to get it right … right?

Wrong! The home team’s homeboys found a way to put the replay equipment on the fritz so the refs refused to make the correct call. Millions of people watching on TV could see it; refs said they couldn’t … and wouldn’t wait for it to be fixed. Seven points from the refs for Denver, as the horses scored.

Then, with the Chargers leading by 7 and less than a minute to go, Jay Cutler fumbled away the game as the Chargers recovered. It was right in front of ref Ed Hochuli so this couldn’t be fouled up, right? Wrong again. The head ump called it incomplete, even though the ball went flying backwards, and Cutler came forward with an empty hand. There is seriously no way any competent official could have blown this call. But he did … intentionally?

OK, so everything is going against the Chargers, but this time replay should help them, right? Wrong yet again. Though the replay was working and the call was reversed to a fumble, the whistle was blown before the San Diego recovery. Broncos score. The refs have now given them 13 points.

No Risk

Mike Shanahan stuns everyone by eschewing the one-point extra point to tie and going for two. “What courage!” you say. They made it; they win, 39-38. But there was no risk. I’m convinced that the refs were primed to call a penalty on the Chargers as many times as needed until Denver made a two-pointer.

This was a bad game for football. I’m no San Diego Charger fan, but any objective viewer has to admit, this was one of the greatest ever travesties against a team, and one of the most blatant instances of official incompetentence/favoritism in NFL history.

Chargers fans, your guys won that game. Broncos fans, hang your heads. Any team that has to win that way should be ashamed to put on the uniform.

NBA fans learned awhile back that NBA refs were betting on the games. Could this be what was happening today?

It’s one of two things: gross, repeated incompetence; or corruption.

This season, Mike Shanahan may be the new Bill Belichick.

What’s Wrong with Baseball

As we prepare to continue this series here is a review of numbers 7-10 of the list. Click on the titles to read the articles. Number 6 to appear soon.

10: Wimpy Pitchers

9: The Designated Hitter

8: Cheating

7: The Concept of the Closer

Man Swallows 60 Condoms, Feels Sick … Duh

In Bangkok, Thailand a man was brought to a hospital by friends who said he was complaining of stomach pains. Doctors discovered 60 condoms in his stomach … filled with hashish. Some of the condoms had burst.

51-year-old Australian John Paul Jones is in critical condition … and his friends have disappeared.

If he recovers, Jones will face drug trafficking charges.

Talk about dumb crooks.

Hole-in-One for 85-Year-Old, Blind Golfing Vet

The best story on the links does not come from the Masters, which is being contested right now, and has had its own hole-in-one story.

The best story comes from Green Valley, Arizona where the AP reports this:

An 85-year-old legally blind golfer from southern Arizona made a hole-in-one this week on a par-3 course. Robert Dunham accomplished the feat on the third hole at Tortuga in Green Valley.

Playing with a group of fellow blind veterans enrolled in a Veterans Affairs health care system program, Dunham’s volunteer assistant lined him up with the ball, handed him a 9-iron and stepped back.

How many of you macho golfer guys can say you’ve done this?

This is terrific. And it’s great it happened to a veteran!

Naked Fly Fishing … With the Veep?

The Internet is abuzz with allegations of Vice President Dick Cheney reflecting the image of a nude female in his sunglasses. And smiling broadly.

But no, this is not a new kind of fly fishing; it is the regular old kind. If you google “Cheney” and “sunglasses” right now you will get 144,000 hits. This blog is a woeful number 144,001. All buzzing on an insane topic. Is that a naked female reflected in his sunglasses? Definitely a big story if so.

But it’s not. Take a look at the blown-up photo on this post from the L.A. Times. It’s simply a hand casting a fly rod.

Yes, the buzz that has been created about this should teach us a lesson. Uh, when I figure it out, I’ll let you know. … Oh, yeah. “Don’t believe everything you read” and “Don’t you have something better to do?”

Yes, you’re even wasting your time reading this … unless it might cause you to not waste a lot of time trying to figure out those sunglasses.

Kansas Over Memphis in NCAA Final: It Wasn’t a Classic

Some misguided sports commentators are calling Kansas’ 75-68 overtime victory over Memphis last night in the NCAA final a classic.

It was no classic … except to Jayhawks fans. For them it is rightly so. And, yes, that was an amazing comeback and an incredible 3-pointer to send it to OT.

But any game at this level that is decided by free throws, where one team throws up wildly errant attempts—from the charity stripe—and the bricks hopelessly clang off metal repeatedly … where one team chokes, over and over and over again from the free-throw line no less, can’t be called a classic.

I am not a fan of Memphis or Kansas. It didn’t really matter to me who won. And there was a certain amount of excitement. But how can Memphis even lift their heads after producing such woeful attempts when all they needed was one more miserable free throw to win the nation’s championship?

No, Memphis deserved to lose. They shot free throws like little boys chunking deflated orbs at a hoop with no net in a playground pick-up game.

Fans deserve better.

The one thing this game made famous is the strategy that won it— Hack-a-Tiger.

Don’t Give the Evidence to Goodell!

Bill Belichick is talking … finally. And, while he’s apologizing, he’s also implying it wasn’t much of a big deal.

But what’s more important is what former Patriot employee Matt Walsh has to say. Walsh says he had evidence that the Patriots taped the St. Louis Rams’ walk-through before the 2002 Super Bowl.

Belichick recently minimized “Spygate,” saying, “I take responsibility for it. Even though I felt there was a gray area in the rule and I misinterpreted the rule….”

Here is the rule he misinterpreted. Tell me how someone who is consistently called a “genius” could misinterpret such a rule.

NFL Constitution & Bylaws Article 9:

Any use by any club at any time, from the start to the finish of any game in which such club is a participant, of any communications or information-gathering equipment, other than Polaroid-type cameras or field telephones, shall be prohibited, including without limitation videotape machines, telephone tapping, or bugging devices, or any other form of electronic devices that might aid a team during the playing of a game.

How on earth could someone who is not even a genius misinterpret that, much less a genius?

Meanwhile, Belichick is denying the Rams incident and Walsh is keeping the evidence until he has stronger assurances from the NFL.

Walsh! Don’t give the evidence to Roger Goodell! Remember what happened to the previous evidence? Heaven know has much incriminating evidence Goodell has already destroyed. Don’t give him any more.

Justice! Giants Take Down Cheatriots in Super Bowl

Cheatriots fall.

Giants destroy evil empire.

Roger Goodell puts up greatest act of his pitiful career, pretending to be happy that the Giants won.

Have been away from the blogosphere for a while. My last blog post (read below) lamented the Giants narrow loss to the Patriots in the regular season. I ended that post by saying this:

One’s only hope is to pray for a miracle … an upset in the playoffs. For that to happen, three things need to take place: Pats have a bad game, opponents have a great game, refs call the game fairly.

Those three things happened … as deep into the playoffs as you can get. After I wrote that post, one comment from a New England fan told me, and I quote, “GET OVER IT.”

I’m over it.

The 1972 Dolphins stand alone. It is justice that this cheating, condescending Patriot team and coach lost. And not surprising that Belichick was not courteous enough to be on the sidelines for the final play.

Now, Senator Arlen Specter and Congress, go after Roger Goodell.

Nothing he has said in defense of destroying evidence makes sense. He was quite simply, protecting the Patriots. Their spy-gate surely goes far beyond what we have heard. We’ll never know what Goodell destroyed. But, if justice is on a roll, other evidence will surface.

Congratulations to the New York Giants. They have saved the sports world … for now.

Dark Day for the NFL

When the New England Patriots came back in the fourth quarter last night to defeat the game New York Giants, it capped a dark day in the history of professional football. Yes, the Pats won, aided by the superstar syndrome—the refs finding things to call against the Pats’ opponents and clearly ignoring more egregious violations on behalf of the league’s pretty boys.
 
One penalty they ignored was a clear leg-whip block by Randy Moss that sprung a big play for Roger Goodell’s favorites. Moss is one of the reasons this is a dark day for the NFL. The egotistical one will play only for a winner, no matter how much he is paid. He did a royal job on the Oakland Raiders by taking their money, then refusing to put out. Moss is worse than T.O. He only plays when he feels like it. And he doesn’t have the courage or stamina of  T.O.
 
The Patriots made Moss a star, not vice versa. Maybe he just is not good enough to put up the stats for a lesser team. True superstars are.
 
Now all the young fans will idolize a bunch of narcissistic cheaters.
 
Too bad.
 
One’s only hope is to pray for a miracle … an upset in the playoffs. For that to happen, three things need to take place: Pats have a bad game, opponents have a great game, refs call the game fairly.

Refs Hand Game to Cowboys; Officiating Partial?

“The pass interference play that wasn’t.” —Bryant Gumbel 

No neutral viewer (which I was in this game) could go away from this game thinking both teams got an even shake. Call after call went against the Carolina Panthers, who would have upset Dallas without the apparent complicity of the officials. It was obvious the refs were calling marginal penalties against Carolina while ignoring egregious violations of the rules against the preferred ‘Boys, especially the obvious pass interference, run repeatedly on the NFL Network, that Gumbel and Collingsworth both agreed had to be a penalty and totally reversed the fortunes of the game. 

Even with all the refs did for them, Dallas could only muster a 20-13 victory.

They didn’t earn it. Dallas fans can’t be proud about this one. It was a shameful display by the officials and, for at least one game, put the Cowboys on the same moral low-ground as the New England Patriots. Appropriate, I guess, since the two teams may meet in the Super Bowl. Only something has changed, at least for me. Up till tonight I would have been rooting for Dallas in that game. After tonight’s preferential, shameful display, I’ll have a hard time watching that game, if indeed it does materialize. 

John Fox, you’ve got a right to be angry. The officiating system, in front of the whole world, let you down, and cast doubt upon the integrity of the system.

Cowboys fans, hang your heads.

Brian Westbrook, the NFL’s Most Unselfish Player

With the clock running down to the 2-minute warning in Dallas and the Philadelphia Eagles up 10-6 on the Cowboys, Brian Westbrook broke into the open for a certain touchdown. But he stopped at the one and fell to the ground, hurting his own stats but guaranteeing a win for his team.

The Cowboys were out of timeouts. If Westbrook scores, Dallas has 2 minutes to get 2 scores … a longshot but still a possibility. A quick score, a successful onsides kick, and another score and the Cowboys could actually win. Unlikely, but very possible.

By forgoing his own stats in favor of the team, Westbrook guaranteed a win for the Eagles. Three kneel-downs killed the clock. Westbrook puts himself a cut above the rest of the league, especially all those guys who care most about their own stats. Speaking of that, Terrell Owens had an ineffective game and again had the dropsies, dropping a key pass that could have been a leading TD. (Tony Romo was also ineffective; Jessica Simpson was not a good-luck charm.)

Sports and Ethics awards its first  Sports and Ethics Award of Merit to Brian Westbrook, the NFL’s most unselfish player.

Warriors Beat Lakers to Stop Streak

Golden State made a frantic late 14-2 comeback to stop the L.A. Lakers, 108-106, and halt their nine-game losing streak to L.A. Baron Davis’ 3-pointer with 16.8 seconds to play was the decisive bucket.

Mitchell Report Fingers Players

Click here for the full report.

Here is the list of 88 players, active and retired:

Manny Alexander
Chad Allen
Rick Ankiel
David Bell
Mark Bell
Gary Bennett
Marvin Bernard
Larry Bigbie
Barry Bonds
Ricky Bones
Kevin Brown
Paul Byrd
Alex Cabrera
Jose Canseco
Ken Caminiti
Mike Carreon
Jason Christiansen
Howie Clark
Roger Clemens
Paxton Crawford
Jack Cust
Chris Donnells
Brendan Donnely
Lenny Dykstra
Bobby Estalella
Matt Franco
Ryan Franklin
Eric Gagne
Jay Gibbons
Jason Giambi
Jeremy Giambi
Troy Glaus
Juan Gonzalez
Jason Grimsley
Jose Guillen
Jerry Hairston Jr.
Matt Herges
Phil Hiatt
Glenallen Hill
Darren Holmes
Todd Hundley
Mike Judd
David Justice
Chuck Knoblauch
Tim Laker
Mike Lansing
Paul Lo Duca
Nook Logan
Josias Manzanillo
Gary Matthews Jr.
Mark McGwire
Cody McKay
Kent Merker
Bart Miadich
Hal Morris
Daniel Naulty
Denny Neagle
Rafael Palmeiro
Jim Parque
Andy Pettitte
Adam Piatt
Todd Pratt
Armando Rios
Stephen Randolph
Adam Riggs
Brian Roberts
John Rocker
F.P. Santangelo
Benito Santiago
Gary Sheffield
Scott Schoeneweis
David Segui
Mike Stanton
Ricky Stone
Miguel Tejada
Derrick Turnbow
Ismael Valdez
Randy Velarde
Mo Vaughn
Ron Villone
Fernando Vina
Rondell White
Jeff Williams
Matt Williams
Todd Williams
Steve Woodward
Kevin Young
Gregg Zaun

Bobby Petrino Joins the Nick Sabin League

Bobby Petrino is not popular in Atlanta. After urging his embattled team to “play all four quarters” each game, Petrino skipped town after 13 games in his first season with the Falcons. Shades of Nick Sabin. When the going got tough, Petrino got going. The players, Atlanta fans, Georgia, and all NFL viewers are rightly upset with such a low-class display. We call upon players to display character. When head coaches show so little of it, we can only pity the players who have to play under them.

And wasn’t it tacky to hold that celebratory press conference where Petrino was heralded as the Second Coming of Arkansas football? Not only did he shaft the innocent Falcons, he also was shown partying on television right after he did it. ‘Tis pitiful for a human being to act that way.

Belichick, Patriots Prepare for Jets

Bill Belichick today, when asked how he would prepare for the next game, replied that it would be just like they have been preparing for their games. Since their next game is a divisional contest with the New York Jets, we have to wonder if that includes the use of illegal videotape, which they needed to use earlier in the season when they played their first game in order to sufficiently embarrass them. Since New England will be at home, it should be easier for them to find an alternate way to cheat.

No Surprise; Tebow Wins Heisman

A few sports writers are acting like prognostigating oracles for correctly predicting Florida Quarterback Tim Tebow would win the Heisman trophy last night. Hey, guys, everybody knew this. Tebow had to win.

Now if only the NCAA national title were as clearcut. But it’s not, no matter who wins which games.

Give us playoffs for the title! 

James J. Braddock Wins Heavyweight Title

Underdog James J. Braddock, dubbed the Cinderella Man for his remarkable fairy-tale comeback, won a unanimous 15-round decision tonight against the overwhelming favorite, Heavyweight Boxing Champion Max Baer, to win the world heavyweight crown.

OK, so it didn’t really happen tonight. I just saw the movie Cinderella Man for the first time. Here was this overwhelming underdog, an honest family man, facing off against the arrogant, womanizing champion. The world wanted him to beat all odds and win. It defied reality but he did it. And this was not fiction; it really happened.

So I’m thinking, there’s a parallel here with the NFL this year. Braddock: All the massive underdog, honest teams. Baer: The dishonest, arrogant, womanizing Patriots. There is hope! If Braddock beat Baer, some decent group of guys could beat the villainous Pats.

Then Hollywood can make it into a movie.