New NFL Awards to Debut: The Hoodies

A new series of NFL awards will debut at the end of this season, according to Bart Bradichick, senior vice president for NFL malfeasance. “The Hoodies will be dynamite,” he said, noting that to win one a player must be on a winning team which has gained some kind of unfair advantage. Players will not be incriminated; acceptance speeches will all be prefaced by the remarks, “If I did it….”

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